Harrison's Comedy Blog

Follow me on Tumblr!

2009-09-09T14:37:00.001-07:00

All of new posts will be on my Tumblr, http://harrisoncomedy.tumblr.com.

I look forward to posting more frequently on my Tumblr than I did via Blogger and also to being able to share all sorts of media, including photos, videos, music, and quotations.

See you on http://harrisoncomedy.tumblr.com!

The Comedy Lifestyle Or, The Post in Which I Wax Poetically and Verbosely About the Pros and Cons of Being a Comedian

2009-07-29T00:29:00.001-07:00

I have to apologize for the lack of blogging. It's not for lack of subjects - actually, I have a kind of reverse writer's block. There are so many things I'd like to write about that I have trouble picking one subject - there are tons of ideas fighting to be written about and I find it difficult to make one the victor over any other. Starting tonight, however, I'm going to try to tackle at least one topic a day and wrestle through this thicket of things about which I would like to be writing.

Let's start with this "comedy lifestyle" I'm still adjusting to.

The decision to devote my life to performing comedy was about passion; the decision to immediately make the move towards performing comedy full time was about pragmatism. I realized that spending 100% of my time on comedy was the best way to make comedy my job: I could work on more material, do more shows, and spend more time on my career with comedy as my full focus. There's also benefit of the push that comes from realizing that your welfare and ability to eat and pay rent is dependent on the quantity and quality of comedy that you do. On top of all of that, I knew that I wanted to make comedy my life, so why delay the inevitable? Why not just jump with both feet and pursue the thing I'm most passionate about with all the passion I have?

I'm proud to say that I'm a professional comedian. I make my living doing what I love. I'm most happy when I'm on stage performing comedy in front of an audience and I get to do that several times a day - what more could I ask for? The lifestyle is not without difficulty, however. The fact that I can't predict what will happen on any given day, that there will always be a surprise or something unexpected, is both a blessing and a curse. It makes things fun and exciting, but it's also tough to plan things in advance (which the "real world" requires you to do) and hard to feel or have any kind of security. There's also the negative side to the comedy industry - the constant rejection, the mistreatment of performers, the competitiveness (whether intentional or not), the drama and politics of working in such a relatively small community of professionals - all can be harmful to one's positive outlook. Add to that the unusual hours (I'm essentially nocturnal and practically don't see the sun at all in the winter), which has left me vampire pale (no sun) and unable to hang out with my friends who have "normal" jobs (as an entertainer, I work when everyone else isn't). My love life (not to get too personal) is also in shambles because, as I've told a few of my comedian friends, when I'm spending time on anything but my art (like with a girl, for example), I honestly feel like I'm cheating on comedy.

But that analogy also illuminates why I'm still doing what I'm doing. Comedy is my love, my passion, my reason for being. As a result, I can't imagine doing anything else. (Okay, I can imagine what it would be like to do something else, but I definitely wouldn't want to be doing anything else.)

That's why I - no matter how hard it's been or how hard it will be - will keep on truckin'. I'm excited to see where the road will lead, but - more importantly - already happy and fulfilled by the journey itself.

Comedian as Jester-Philosopher-Poet

2009-07-09T11:49:00.001-07:00

"The jester makes jokes, he’s funny, he makes fun, he ridicules. But if his ridicules are based on sound ideas and thinking, then he can proceed to the second panel, which is the thinker—he called it the philosopher. The jester becomes the philosopher, and if he does these things with dazzling language that we marvel at, then he becomes a poet too. Then the jester can be a thinking jester who thinks poetically."

-- George Carlin on Arthur Koestler

Haikus

2009-07-01T22:45:00.001-07:00

Tonight, I performed on "Haiku...a comedy show" at Jelloato in the East Village (for more information on the show click here). Each comic had to include at least one haiku in their set, but I decided to challenge myself and write an entire 10 minute set in which every joke either ended with a haiku or was a haiku itself. (I even re-wrote the "baby trick" I close most sets with to include several haikus.)

Here are a few of the haikus I wrote for the show:

AWKWARD CONVERSATION WITH MOM

(Adapted from a joke I regularly do in my act)

"I hooked up with my

girlfriends." "But that means make-out."

"I thought it meant 'fuck.'"

MICHAEL JACKSON AND BILLY MAYS TEAM UP IN HEAVEN

Jacko, Billy Mays:

"Oxiclean: when it matters

if it's black or white."

BREVITY

"Brevity is the

soul of wit," Shakespeare wrote, but

He'd still hate Twitter.

META HAIKU

Suppose the last line

Had six syllables, not five.

Would you notice it?

Comedians and/vs. Strippers

2009-05-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was having a conversation with an audience member after a comedy show I was featured in and found out that she was an exotic dancer. In talking about our careers, I realized that exotic dancing/stripping may be closer to stand-up than any other entertainment career.

From a practical and business perspective, the two are very similar. Each week, both comedians and strippers call the clubs they work at, give their availabilities for the week ("avails"), and hope to get scheduled. Comedians and strippers also work the same hours - at night, busiest on weekends - essentially, when "normal" people are looking for entertainment - in similar environments, performing in dark rooms for patrons who are drunk or drinking. The clubs (both comedy clubs and strip clubs) make the majority of their money through alcohol sales, so both comedians and strippers are essentially conduits for these places to sell drinks (not that there is anything wrong with that!).

From a more philosophical perspective, the two also overlap. Both professions are about revealing yourself on stage. In the case of comedy, you get emotionally naked; in the case of stripping, physically. In both cases, you are exposed in a way "normal" people are not, pushing you out of the mainstream of what is acceptable in society.

You might also consider that both jobs involve doing something "normal" people do already (make others laugh, take your clothes off), which sometimes causes others to conclude that they can do what you do for a living without any of the training through which you have gone. These people don't realize how hard it is to do what you do - not only to just do it, but to do it well.

On the face of it, I think what seems like a glaring difference might also be a commonality. The comedian is fueled by honesty - he/she creates comedy by revealing the truth about the world and/or ourselves. The stripper, on the other hand, often hides behind a persona: he/she uses a fake name, wears a costume, partitions his/her "stripper self" from her "real self." I think, though, that a comedian is different onstage than offstage - the comedian is a larger version of himself on stage. You're not "you" but "YOU" - a distilled, magnified, highly focused rendering of who you are. I think a stripper does the same thing, highlighting the sexual and physical components of themselves in a focused reflection of their underlying selves. In both cases, the comedian and the stripper bring to focus important components of humanity that we often hide.

What do you think? Do you think this comparison holds? Do you think there are any other jobs with such similarities to comedy (comedians as doctors bringing truth medicine to the masses? comedians as firefighters saving society from the flames of self-destruction? comedians as mimes who talk?)?

New Jokes: Swine Flu

2009-05-05T06:20:00.001-07:00

I promised a while back to start posting new jokes as I write them, so here goes (keep in mind that this is a work in progress):

"Swine flu isn't all bad. I haven't seen a mariachi band on the subway in two weeks."

I'm Featured on The Apiary!

2009-04-02T13:59:00.001-07:00

The Apiary, a legendary comedy blog, just published a lengthy interview with me on their home page! I read the blog every day, so it really means a lot to me to actually be featured by them.

Check out the whole interview here!

Art vs. Commerce Or, The Cheeseburger Theory of Comedy

2009-03-30T02:06:00.001-07:00

I still haven't decided what the core purpose of this blog is. Should I just update everybody on my experiences as a full-time comedian? Or should I get a little more theoretical and try to analyze comedy a bit? Is this blog about the comedian or the comedy? (I'm still not sure, so please feel free to weigh in in the comment section!)

With that in mind, I have been working on something for a bit, a theoretical discourse on the art-commerce spectrum as it relates to stand-up comedy. I think I may be in withdrawal from all of the paper writing of 12 years in public schools and 4 years at Harvard, so I apologize if the language gets a little too academic for an informal blog post, but here goes anyway:

As someone who makes his living as an artist, it's always fascinating to me to consider the relationship between art and commerce. I think all comedians fall somewhere on a spectrum between art (comedy purely for the sake of comedy) and commerce (comedy purely for the sake of making money).

The first thing to consider in regards to this spectrum is that the audience plays an important role. Since the commerce aspect of art is fueled by those paying for it, the commerce side of the spectrum could also be labeled "comedy dictated by the wants/needs of others" while the art side of the spectrum could be labeled "comedy dictated by the wants/needs of the artist."

I think the best analogy for conceptualizing the scale is as follows: at the far end of the commerce side of the spectrum is a fast food cheeseburger. It's cheap, it's easy, it sells well, and is extremely popular on a large scale. However, it's not good for you nor is it really satisfying on any level below the topmost surface. As we move along the scale, the cheeseburger starts to get less and less manufactured and its composition is less and less dictated by what will appeal to a large, generalized population. At the center of the scale, we have a standard cheeseburger, one you might find at a good diner. As we start to move farther and farther down the art side, the cheeseburger starts to get more and more experimental. Instead of cheese, you might find an avocado. Instead of a bun, you might find lettuce. Instead of beef, you might find tuna or turkey or vegetables. At a certain point, however, these cheeseburgers go from pushing the limits of what a cheeseburger is to being so un-cheeseburger-like that anyone who orders it will send it back because, at this point, it's just not a cheeseburger anymore.

I think every comedian should decide where they want to be on this scale. If comedy is a cheeseburger, what kind of cheeseburger do you want to be? I think, ideally, you want one foot on the art side and one foot on the commerce side, in such a way that you can straddle the middle point, putting weight on one or the other foot depending on the venue, audience, etc. If comedy is something you want to do but not something you want to do for a living, then I think you have the freedom to be farther out on the art side. (If comedy is a cheeseburger, you don't have to worry about people sending a cheeseburger back if you're not concerned with selling a lot of them or making a profit.) Thus, the danger in going too far out on the art side is that it diminishes your ability to make a living as an artist. More importantly, being that far out means you're too far away from the comedy the audience wants to see or expects - of course, you have to make strong artistic choices, but since the audience is so important to stand-up comedy, you can't completely alienate all possible audiences. If you end up performing in an empty room, you're no longer performing stand-up comedy.

Still, I think more comedians tend to go too far out on the commerce side, ignoring the art and the craft solely in order to create commerce (make money). Stand-up comedy is an art form and should be treated as such - it's a vehicle for creativity and expression. If you're too far on the commerce side of the scale, you're denying the very essence of comedy, which is that it is an art. Somebody too "arty" is still an artist, but somebody too "commerce-y" has forgotten what it is or ceased to be an artist.

I describe this spectrum and my thoughts on it because I think it's useful in conceptualizing certain theories or ideas.

For example, people struggle to define "alternative" or "alt" comedy. Instead of trying to nail down what it is, I would argue that it might be reasonable to simply define it as comedy a significant distance away from the midpoint towards the "art" side of the art-commerce spectrum.

Using the spectrum also makes it easier to explain the difference between the comedy scenes in the U.S. In New York, there are more comedy clubs (centers of commerce) than Boston; it's also more expensive to live in New York, so the commerce aspect has to be pushed even harder in order just to survive as an artist. As a result, Boston comics tend to be more art/less commerce than New York comics. (This is not to say that New York comics are not artists, only that in relative terms Boston comics on a whole are "artier"/more art-focused than New York comics. Both might be on the art side of the scale, but Boston would probably be farther out from the center.)

Another example: stealing jokes and doing hack material is an art/commerce question. These comics are performing in front of audiences and getting hired - this is the commerce aspect of this issue. (Commerce is the only reason these comedians resort to this - if it didn't help them get up in front of an audience or do better when performing for them, they wouldn't steal jokes or use hack material, as it would defeat the whole purpose of them doing it in the first place.) According to this scale, you can't get closer to the commerce side without getting farther from the art side - I think we can agree that this works well for the stealing/hack example since these comics essentially cease to be artists when they engage in this kind of behavior. Art is about creating - one can't be an artist without generating or creating anything.

I think a strong conceptualization of this spectrum is helpful in thinking about stand-up comedy. Such issues as joke selection, playing to an audience, developing abstract material are all really art-commerce issues, so I think a greater understanding of this scale will lead to better, more well-informed choices.

Anybody want a cheeseburger?

New Bit: Memento-ing Movies

2009-02-21T01:58:00.000-08:00

I think it would be cool to blog new jokes that I'm working on. Definitely check me out live and see how these jokes play in front of real audiences!

There's an easter egg on the DVD of the movie, Memento, that lets you watch the movie in reverse. How much better would movies be if you could watch all of them backwards?

* The Godfather would be about mobsters who come back from the dead and attend a wedding.

* Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory would be about a child who owns a chocolate factory, gives it to an adult, and then becomes poor.

* The Curious Case of Benjamin Button would be about a man aging normally living in a world where everyone ages backwards.

* Superman is about a superhero who saves the world, gets the girl, and then gets on a rocket and leaves Earth for his home planet, Krypton.

* Friday the 13th is about a man in a hockey mask who, after using his magic machete to reverse people's gruesome deaths, becomes a boy again and goes to summer camp.

* Rocky would be about a fighter at the top of his game who gets worse and worse and ends up a normal guy. In other words, The Wrestler.

Cartoon

2009-02-16T11:20:00.001-08:00

Here's a photo comic Craig Carmean snapped of a cartoon comic Kenny Ortega (who's also a tattoo artist, so is great at sketching) drew:

(That's me with a quote from my act.)

MAD About Comedy

2009-02-11T02:26:00.000-08:00

I finally uploaded a .pdf of my first major article in MAD Magazine ("If Different Comedians Told the Same Joke," May 2008) to the Press page of my website. (You can also download the article here.)

I can't tell you how much of an honor and a thrill it is to be a contributing writer for MAD. As a kid, I used to crouch over a decaying cardboard box at my grandparent's house in Brooklyn, poring over my dad's yellowing collection of old MADs. Fast forward to the summer of 2005 - when I participated in MAD's six-week internship program - and I was now actually helping write and put together the magazine that informed the childhoods of both my Dad and me (not to mention countless others). That summer, the summer of my freshmen year at Harvard, I learned not only about the technical aspects of comedy writing (the editors of MAD are all brilliant comedic minds and just watching them come up with ideas is a master class in itself) but that comedy writing was what I wanted to do with my life. Combine that desire with a desire to perform and express oneself on stage and - presto! - you have a stand-up comedian.

The bottom line: as a kid, MAD influenced and shaped my sense of humor. As an intern, MAD influenced and shaped my life.

Fire and Flood

2009-01-27T09:47:00.000-08:00

One of the reasons I love stand-up comedy is because anything can happen during a show - and you're expected to be able to deal with it. That's what makes stand-up so amazing as an art form - each time a comedian creates on stage, he/she has the opportunity to create something entirely unique for that specific audience.

Last week, I was truly able to see what "anything can happen" meant.

On Friday, as I approached HA! Comedy Club, I saw lines of fire trucks and police cars lining 46th St. Nervous, I called Cisko (the manager and all-around great guy) at HA! in order to find out if the fire was at HA! and, if it was, if everyone was okay. It turned out there was a small electrical fire in one of the showrooms, but everyone was safe, the theater was still intact, and that shows would continue as usual on Saturday. After offering my help, I went back home.

I went back to HA! on Saturday (46th St. seemed so much quieter without the FDNY and NYPD blaring their sirens and crowding the street!). For the first show of the night (the 6:30 PM show), I was slated to be the opening comic, the first comic to follow the host. Right before I gave the host the light (the "light" being a wave of a cell phone in the back that signals the host to begin ending his set and get ready to bring the first comic up), I heard a huge "WHOOSH!" sound, followed by what sounded like waterfalls. Rushing into the room, I discovered that water was streaming from what appeared to be the ceiling, soaking the host and his audience.

We re-directed everyone to the third showroom, a large theater, the only room untouched by fire or flood. Since the host was also the manager, he had to attend to cleaning up the water (the source of which, we discovered, was a pipe burst due to the rapidly decreasing temperature outside).

Turning to me, he said, "You're the host now. Let them settle for a second, then start the show."

I was now hosting a show in which the audience had just been ambushed by water. Soaked and shocked, the audience was not probably thinking about what would happen to the rest of the show.

I got on stage. "Thanks for coming to HA! the ride. It's like the Earthquake ride in Universal. Hope you enjoyed the first part of our adventure - now for the real show..."

Although previous omens would not have portended this, the show went really well. The audience seemed to actually relish the action - what an amazing story to tell the family back home, right? The comics also all came through, delivering great sets with sly winks to the deluge the audience had just been exposed to.

In the end, it was a great night - for the comics at HA!, who showed how professional, amazingly talented, and able to deal with everything they were; for HA! Comedy Club and its staff, which proved how incredible a venue it was by surviving fire and flood, fixing everything at an incredible speed (all showrooms were up and running by the next day!), and for making sure everyone was safe and enjoyed themselves; and for comedy itself, which proved once again that "anything can happen."

Over-the-Counter Comedy @ EastVille Comedy Club

2009-01-06T22:26:00.000-08:00

Sam Morril and I have been producing Stand-Up Comedy: LIVE at the Sage Theater every Thursday at 10 PM at the Sage Theater (711 7th Ave., between 47th and 48th St.) for more than a year and a half now. In order to expand and give people additional opportunities to see unbelievably good comedy for unbelievably low covers in New York, we have started co-producing a second weekly show every Monday at 9 PM at the EastVille Comedy Club (85 East 4th St., between 2nd Ave. and Bowery). Over-the-Counter Comedy: A Cure for the Mondays features amazing talent (this week we had Todd Barry!) and is only $1 (the club's two-drink minimum still applies).

We sold out this week and have some INCREDIBLE special guests lined up for next week, so make sure to make reservations on our VIP reservation line (206.312.2954) to guarantee seats!

Records

2009-01-05T08:51:00.000-08:00

It's funny how quickly things change. A little more than a month ago, I posted about doing 21 shows in 14 days and how that was a personal record for me. I just looked at my calendar and realized that, since moving to New York 9 days ago, I've performed on 26 shows! Living in New York - which drastically cuts out most of my commute to comedy clubs - definitely has its advantages!

I should note that the reason the number of shows is important is not so much for the number itself but the amount of material I can work on and polish with the stage time I have available. I look at every performance as a means for making my act and me as a performer better, so the more shows I do, the better my act and me as a performer gets. Over the last 15 or so shows, for example, I've managed to add several new jokes I really love, tweak some classic stuff and add some solid laugh lines, and redo my on-stage look a bit. I've also I also have been hard at work carving out a solid 30-45 minute feature set, firming up jokes, adding them to a master set list, and then putting them aside for a bit to free up room for firming up new jokes. Yesterday at HA!, I did a 20+ minute set that went really, really well - I love what you're able to do in that amount of time in terms of character development and the relationship with the audience you're able to build. As I gear up for road work and touring, I look forward to more and more of these longer sets!

Thanks to everyone who has come out to see me perform - you're the reason I'm able to do this crazy awesome job (can I even call it a "job"?) every night, so I can't thank you all enough!

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T16:13:00.001-08:00

It's the last day of 2008 and I can't but help being thankful for an incredible 2008 and excited for even more incredible 2009!

One final comedy story for 2008: On Monday, I was scheduled for a bunch of shows at HA! Comedy Club in NYC. I've performed at HA! many times before and always look at the headshots on the wall when I go down the stairs towards the two showrooms. However, on this particular day, I was in such a rush to get down to the showrooms that I didn't even check the wall. I started to notice before each of my shows as I waited in the back to be introduced that some of the members of the audience kept looking back at me, like they recognized me from somewhere. However, I didn't recognize them, so I didn't know where they knew me from. On the way up the stairs to make a phone call between Show 2 and Show 3, I saw my headshot on the wall and everything made sense!

My headshot is now on the wall of a real NYC comedy club and I can't thank HA! enough for the honor!

Comedy Lessons + Thank You

2008-12-24T00:07:00.000-08:00

I've spent every day since graduating from Harvard working on my comedy, whether it be performing on a show (over 150 between July and now), co-producing and booking two shows in Times Square, writing material, working on shows like TMIWeekly.com and ModMyLife.com, and updating things like this blog and my Twitter, and I have to say that these five and a half months have been incredible. I can honestly say that I wake up every single day thankful to be doing what I love and what I am deeply passionate as my career.

Because I've had such supportive friends in comedy, I received many important lessons about the industry from veterans before I even went pro. Here are several of the lessons that, having now experienced the industry from the perspective of a professional, I have found are so true and so important:

* Be positive and optimistic. In a business like comedy, it can be very hard, but it's invaluable not only in terms of your own productivity but in how others interact with you.

* Stay true to yourself. It's very easy to get lost in this business, which is why you must always stay truth to your ideals and the things you value most.

* Treat your stage time like gold. When you're on stage every night, sometimes two, three, or even five times a night, there's the danger you begin to hold stage time as valuably as you once did when you only went on stage a couple of times each month or even each week. By making sure that you ALWAYS make the BEST use of my stage time - regardless of how many times you've gone up that week, regardless of how you've been feeling or how tired you am - you ensure that you develop and grow as much as possible as an artist.

* You should LOVE your audience, regardless of anything - their size, their behavior, etc. They're the reason you get to do the job you do, so be thankful for them!

* Sometimes hanging out with the comics after the show is as important as doing the show itself.

* Write, write, write.

I'm finally moving into a new apartment in New York City this Thursday, which I hope will enable me to do even more comedy.

Thank you to everyone who reads this blog and to everyone who has supported me and live comedy!

Here's to big things in 2009!

2 Weeks in the Life of a Professional Stand-Up Comedian

2008-11-21T00:11:00.000-08:00

These last two weeks have been SO CRAZY! I can't believe how fast time is flying nor can I believe how far I've already come (while still acknowledging, of course, how far I still have to go).

Here are my last 14 days by the numbers:

21: Number of shows performed in

8: Number of different venues performed in

4: Number of those 21 shows I co-produced

4 hours, 10 minutes: Total time spent on stage

29 hours, 45 minutes: Total time spent commuting to and from shows

And while all of this has been absolutely exhausting (I don't think I've ever passed out the way I did last night after my long day on set), it has been exhilarating and exciting and amazing. I can't help but feel so fortunate to be able to wake up each day and do what I love.

I can't wait for the next 14 days!

Election Thought

2008-11-06T02:43:00.001-08:00

Now that Obama's been elected our next president, we're going to have to rename the White House the "All Races Allowed House."

Tomorrow is a BIG Day!

2008-11-03T21:05:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, I find out the outcome of three important things (one is the election, one concerns a position, and one concerns an audition I have tomorrow).

I really hope they all go well tomorrow!

(Also, if you want to follow my crazy life minute-to-minute, follow me on Twitter!)

Meeting Lewis Black

2008-10-21T01:05:00.001-07:00

In one of my favorite books, Absolute Magic by Derren Brown, Brown defined art as "a set of historical narratives." In other words, art is created in dialogue with that which comes before it. As a result, I - as an artist - am forever indebted to all those great masters who came before me and created great art, comedians like George Carlin and Lenny Bruce.

Last Tuesday, I got the opportunity to meet one of these great masters, Lewis Black, an inspiration not only because of the great art he has and continues to create, but because of the decades-long commitment he has made to reaching the point he has and because of the great kindness he shows to everyone (I think it speaks volumes that everyone I met last Tuesday who knew Lewis personally commented on the incredible kindness Lewis Black shows everyone).

Meeting Mr. Black was an energizing, inspiring experience. I was amazed to find that he had read my MAD Magazine article ("If Stand-Up Comedians Told the Same Joke"), which includes my rendition of what his version of the chicken-crossing-the-road joke might sound like, and even more amazed to find out that he really liked it. It was a rare privilege to be able to meet someone who was such a large influence on my decision to dedicate myself to becoming a comedian and comedy writer and one that I will cherish.

(Special thanks to Russell, John, and everyone who helped make it possible for me to meet Mr. Black - I don't know what I did to deserve such generosity, but you all certainly have my tremendous gratitude.)

Comedy Wisdom

2008-10-12T01:40:00.001-07:00

I've been participating in the New York Underground Comedy Festival (can you believe that it's the fourth comedy festival I've performed in? I still remember being nervous about the first!) this week, so had the opportunity to participate in a comedy seminar with Eddie Brill (Late Night with David Letterman talent scout), Rick Overton (comedy veteran), and Jim Mendrinos (festival organizer). Eddie Brill's philosophy was of particular interest because it so mirrored by own (in fact, his approach to being a talent scout - be the talent scout he as a comic would have wanted him to be - matches mine as a comedy show producer). Rick Overton's candor and passion, as well as Jim Mendrinos' clear and comprehensive understanding of the business of comedy, were also inspiring and thought-provoking.

Here's a bit of their collected wisdom (I think most, if not all, can apply to life in general, too):

* Never fire at eye level (and definitely not below).

* Do the act that would slay you if you saw it.

* Do the act you would enjoy first, not the act you think the audience will enjoy.

* Perform from the heart and not from the brain.

* Do "human being" comedy - comedy that appeals not just to a specific audience but to human beings in general.

* Vulnerability is sexy.

* Silence is as be as powerful as words (the rests are as much part of the music as the notes). Use it.

* Comedy is a DIALOGUE.

* Be a Swiss Army Knife of talent.

* Be a shining light and let people come to you because they're attracted to it. (Also, referenced Nelson Mandela quote: "As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.")

* Have so much passion for what you do that you can let it steer you.

Photo credit: M. Alejandro

Dirty Politics

2008-10-07T13:47:00.000-07:00

Who knew that running for County Supervisor of Maricopa could get so dirty?

Meet Ed Hermes. He's a Democrat running against Republican incumbent Fulton Brock. He's young, but he's already been the Director of External Affairs for the Arizona Department of Agriculture and part of the Governor's Smart Growth Cabinet. He's also been endorsed by the police department in Maricopa. This is what Ed Hermes looks like know:

But this all makes Fulton Brock mad. He ain't gonna get beat by no stinkin' 24-year-old. So rather than demonstrate how his experience trumps Hermes' experience, he sends this out,a mailer what has to be one of the funniest political ads I've ever seen (click to enlarge):

First of all, the picture used of Hermes is a 5 year old high school yearbook photo, which clearly makes him look a whole lot younger than he is. Also, at least according to this blogger (and you have to take it with a grain of salt), Ed does NOT actually live at home with his parents (link to article).

Also, I love how everyone is freaking out about the fact that Hermes was on Room Raiders somehow reflects his ability to lead (especially since years have elapsed since the filming of the episode). Here's a typical attack on Hermes for being on Room Raiders (link to article). The best moment? When the blogger notes that there are gay people on the show. Yes, Ed Hermes was on a television show that sometimes has gay people on it - oh no!

Are you kidding me?!?

(By the way, Fulton Brock is also no stranger to being on camera - except only he knew he was on it because he was secretly and illegal filming this board meetings - link to article.)

My Improv Team Has a Name

2008-10-06T13:58:00.000-07:00

The Gotham house improv team that I wrote abut a few days ago now has a name and a date for opening night! I'm in the first preview performance of Red Tie Mafia, which will be Sunday, November 9th at Gotham Comedy Club. Can't wait!!!

The Uniquest Night Yet at the Sage

2008-10-03T20:30:00.001-07:00

I made out with a girl onstage last night during my set.

But let's start out at the beginning:

When I created and then began producing Stand-Up Comedy: LIVE at the SAGE THEATER (at that time, called Don't Touch the Foot), the guiding philosophy I adopted was that I should run the show the way I, as a comic, always wanted others to run their shows. That means giving and showing both comedians and the audience the respect they deserve.

One of the most important things we do is support unique comedy voices. Most mainstream rooms are looking for the most mainstream (read: commercial) comedians they can find. We celebrate everything from improv comedy to sketch comedy to alternative comedy. We want to expand our audience's comic palate, exposing them to comedy they don't always get elsewhere.

However, I think last night was the uniquest (as in "most unique," not "a singular quest") night we've ever had at the Sage Theater to date. (And yes, I made the word "uniquest" up, but isn't there some poetry in "uniquest" being one of the uniquest words you've heard recently?) In fact, as one comic actually put it to me last night, "You always said your shows here were unique. I didn't realize they'd be this unique." Here's the story of two of the uniquest moments of this uniquest show (I hope, for the amount of times I'm using the word "uniquest" in this post that Google picks the word up and starts treating it like it's a real one.)

During my act, I began one of my signature bits (the "I'm straight, but people think I'm gay..." routine). An audience member shouted, "Prove it!" to which I responded, "I will make out with any woman in the audience if someone's willing." Obviously, I didn't think someone would want to or - if someone did - that she wouldn't want to do it on stage in front of everyone. I was wrong.

I heard, "I'll do it" from an attractive lady in the front. I was caught in the midst of a bluff in the midst of a bit, so quickly responded, "Come on up here. Guy who told me to prove it, how long do we have to go for until your satisfied?" "10 seconds." "Fine."

The girl was now on stage. She was really ready to do this. When I realized that this was actually going to happen - that she and I were actually going to make out on stage to prove a point - I was think I was more nervous than I ever have been just telling jokes.

I ad-libbed some more: "So you don't have any diseases, right?" "I was just tested." "I actually don't know if that makes me feel better or worse.... I guess, well... dude, are you ready to count down?"

And then it happened. It's a good thing I didn't notice the 10 comedians who had been called into the room by the other comics already present to watch this because I probably would have vomited like Stan does on South Park every time he kisses Wendy. (Hey, my obligatory pop culture reference for the day!)

So I did it. And - I swear to you - the first thing I thought was, "This is definitely going in the blog."

BTW, if you don't think the final act - a sketch by Micah Sherman, Joe List, and Dan Hirshon - could top a comic and an audience member making out on stage, then you didn't see the final act.

Here's a picture immortalizing this final sketch:

Yes, I had to cover up his testicle with the Comedy Central logo, as his ball was hanging out (as the main joke, since both his character and his scene partner's character were oblivious to it) for the entire sketch.

At least we're living up to our goal of showcasing the most unique and original comedy in New York City!

I'm on Gotham Comedy Club's First and Only House Improv Team!

2008-09-26T14:03:00.000-07:00

Some good news to report: after an audition and a callback, I was offered a spot on Gotham Comedy Club's house improv team. So now, not only can you catch me performing stand-up comedy all over the city, but you will soon be able to watch me perform improv comedy at one of the best comedy clubs in New York!

Will post details as soon as they become available!

I honestly can't wait for rehearsals to start!!!!!

(BTW, the picture for this blog post is of the cover of Truth in Comedy, a must-read book not only for improv performers but for anybody doing comedy. Its teachings form the basis of the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater training, as well as most other improv training programs. If you're interested in purchasing it, you can pick up a copy at Amazon here.)

To Marty

2008-09-23T22:03:00.000-07:00

I was going to write today about the show I did today for ComedyCures, an amazing charity dedicated to bringing patients and their caregivers the gift of joy and laughter, run by Saranne Rothberg, one of the most inspiring people I think I've ever met. I've been working so hard to be a professional comedian because I think that I can bring others happiness through my work - participating in the LaughLunch at the Broadway Comedy Club, I was able to do that in a more direct way than I think I ever have. I'm extremely lucky to have been given such an opportunity and I cherish it - I hope I was able to bring them as much joy, laughter, and happiness as they brought me inspiration and motivation to be a better person.

But for all the happiness I experienced this afternoon performing for some truly incredible and courageous people, I'm currently experiencing great sadness because I just found out that I lost somebody just as incredible and courageous, Marty Fischer.

I met Marty this summer. Right after graduation, I started calling around local clubs to see if I could get stage time anywhere post-graduation. I found out that a new club was opening - the National Lampoon Comedy House - and left a message that I was interested in performing. Marty called me back and I came down to the Dave and Buster's, where I would be nearly every weekend for the next two months, working with Marty on my act. Here was a real comedy veteran, who had been in the business for decades and decades, and he was working with me, a fresh comic just starting out. I think that reflects powerfully on Marty's generosity, kindness, and love of comedy.

People definitely had differing opinions about Marty; not everyone loved him. But the Marty that I knew was an old-school, kind-hearted man who legitimately cared and looked after the people with which he worked.

Marty was in his 60s when he passed, in the middle of trying to start an entire comedy club chain. That was the kind of guy Marty was - he had such a love of and for comedy that - even after cheating death a short while ago - he continued to work towards the goal of bringing more comedy into the world until the day he died.

In fact, it was Marty who got me the gig at ComedyCures, a charity with which he was deeply involved and held close to his heart.

About a week ago, Marty and I had a disagreement about ComedyCures. I was worried that if I did magic, I would be further pigeon-holed as a magician, making it that much harder to be recognized as a comedian by the comedy industry (which is often present at ComedyCures events). Marty told me, "You're going to do it.... Just do it and we'll talk after. You'll understand."

Marty was right - after doing the event, I realized that it was an honor to be a part of such an amazing charity period, regardless of my role. I was being selfish - I would turn down a chance to bring joy to people who needed it the most because of some petty personal career nonsense? Being there put everything in perspective - my personal issues were ridiculously silly and trivial, especially compared to the immensity of the goal we were trying to accomplish.

I called Marty as soon as I left ComedyCures and left him a voicemail thanking him for giving me the opportunity to work with ComedyCures. I also told him that he was right, that now that I had experienced it, I understood the importance of my being there, regardless of my role. I also understood Marty better, knowing what kind of charity he had been such a strong supporter of, knowing how highly regarded he was by ComedyCures people I now highly regard.

I'll probably never know if Marty got that voicemail. I am, however, SOOO thankful that I was able to have this moment of understanding and appreciation about Marty while he was still alive.

Marty was more than just a comedy colleague - he was a mentor and friend. Every time I look at my ComedyCures bracelet - which I won't be taking off - I'll be reminded of my obligation to the world to bring it laughter and make it a better place, an obligation Marty took to heart and worked to fulfill every day of his life.

I'll miss you, Marty.

Rest of the Fest

2008-09-19T22:30:00.000-07:00

I'm heading back to New York as we speak (yay, Megabus buses having Internet!). The Boston Comedy Festival was AWESOME - I can't thank festival organizer Jim McCue (who's book, Embedded Comedian, is a fantastic read and highly recommended) for choosing me to be part of the competition and for putting together such an amazing festival (thanks also to Helen McCue and the volunteers, too!). Thanks also to Sean McCarthy (author of the industry blog, The Comic's Comic) for the nice write-up in his festival analysis - it's crazy to go from reading the blog to see who made it in the Festival to being in the blog as a comic that did well in the Festival. Finally, a HUGE thank you to Nelson Greaves, for hosting me for the entire week - it was hugely generous and I can't thank him enough. (He's also one of the current co-presidents of the Harvard College Stand-Up Comic Society, so he's helping continue the club I started on campus two years ago, a club dedicated to promoting the great art of stand-up on Harvard's campus.)

Can't wait for next year!!!

Off to the Semis!

2008-09-18T15:35:00.000-07:00

I'm off to the first two semi-finals rounds of the Boston Comedy Festival to root on my friends and fellow comics at the Hard Rock Cafe in Faneuil Hall. Honestly, I don't know how the judges are just going to pick two from each round for the finals.

I'll most probably be on a bus tomorrow from Boston to NYC, so expect a ruminative post tomorrow.

BTW, have you noticed the new blog layout? Or the new calender widget on the right side of the blog? Don't judge me, but that took about 2-3 hours. So much for this whole "Internet" thing being time-saving. I bet Rosie on The Jetsons broke down all the time, but it was too boring to show on television. I can imagine George Jetson holding down Rosie's power button, trying to reset her for the 7th time that day, complaining about the fact that Rosie runs Windows 2200, cursing the fact that he didn't have enough money to buy the iRosie which he heard runs better but is also a bit over-hyped... Anyways, I should get going!

The Craziest Thing You Will EVER See

2008-09-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

Right before graduating, Matt Di Pasquale asked me to submit a humor article for a magazine he was working on publishing, a Harvard-sanctioned porno mag called Diamond Magazine. I passed, as it was way to risky to associate my name with something that could potentially be offensive, terrible, etc., etc.

Well, I was right to wait.

I wish I had the time to point out every that's batshit crazy about this issue (download it here - warning: definitely not safe for work), but I don't have 17 years to commit to dissecting this.

I will point out some of my favorite parts:

* The cover: Is he really on the cover? Really? I can only imagine Matt's sale pitch: "All Playboy and Hustler ever give you are pictures of beautiful, naked women. At Diamond, we give the readers what they really want: shameless, half-naked shots of our hairy editor. Diamond: Where vanity meets profanity."

Also, the tag, "Know Your Politics: Cause It's Getting Time to Vote," should be sold as a bumper sticker. At least in the blue states.

* Page 7-8: If you don't have any real letters, why not print the random phrases your tech guy used to test the contact form? Or letters from people interested in joining that I'm sure they wanted to be printed on a freakin' letters page.

* Pages 13-24: Diamond is supposed to be a nude mag (at least according to Matt and to the Harvard Crimson which recognizes that the word "nude" attracts many more hits and readers than "diamond," as evidenced by every article ever that they've written involving Diamond.) but here are twelve - twelve! - pages of Fiona as clad as possible. Where are the boobies?!?

* Page 29-38: This is an interview with Matt Di Pasquale (surprise!) by Matt Di Pasqaule. Read that again: he interviewed himself. In fact, if you weren't clear about that, he makes sure to point that out on page 38: "Did you just interview yourself? Kinda... but how will they know?" Indeed, how will they ever figure your brilliant self-interviewing scheme out. Harrison, do you know? Why, yes - thanks for asking! Could it be because he just said it or maybe because the name of the interviewer and interviewee are the same? I think it's both. I think you're right. (This also makes exchanges like "I did a bit of local organic farming and played hockey. Field hockey? No, ice hockey" totally ridiculous.)

And then - if you were worried about not getting to see any nudie - you get to page 33 and... PENIS! Exactly what men were expecting to get when they download his "nudie mag."

Also, in case any woman was turned on by this absurd photo, he made sure this question and answer were printed on the page: "Anything prospective applicants should know? I fart under the covers. Dutchover style, baby!"

The obvious thing to point out is that he's breaking the law and exposing himself out in public, in broad daylight. How did he not get arrested?

The answer is that he took these pictures in, like, 3 seconds. Look at the man with the red cap on walking off the bridge on the right side of the photo. In the subsequent photos, notice how he's only inches further away. In other words, Matt wore his towel to the bridge (page 34), then threw it off (page 33), turned around for a sec to show his ass (page 35), and then turned back around again for another shot that looks almost identical to the first one (page 37).

That's not a photo shoot - that's just a crime.

Page 34: "She said my splooge tasted like unripe bananas." No comment. I'm glad his Mom was referenced on the letters page as being proud.

Finally, on page 38 - after a NINE page interview with HIMSELF, Matt concludes by asking and then answering himself: "How do you think this interview went? I think it went great! :) Unfortunately, we'll have to cut it short. I could keep on going and going, and if I don't stop now, we'll never get this magazine out." First of all, who is this "we"? You're interviewing yourself. And, second, was nine pages not enough?

I can only hope that issue two features even more in-depth interviews with this ball-baring super-streaker.

As I said in the beginning, there's only so much time I have to devote to this monument to unintended hilarity, so I'll have to stop myself there. But take a few minutes, download the issue, and enjoy yourself. No, not like that, ya perv.

Rocking Out at the Hard Rock Cafe

2008-09-16T00:20:00.000-07:00

I was one of 96 comics chosen to compete in this year's Boston Comedy Festival. While I didn't make it to the next round, I did have a great set (and, especially in the world of competitions, which involve everything from luck - what comedians you go up against in each round - to politics, that's all you can really do). As one comic told me before I came up to Boston, "The best thing you can do is just have fun. Make sure you're enjoying the experience instead of worrying about how you actually do." And, man, was doing that show fun!

Thanks to the wonder of the Internet, here's an actual clip from my performance tonight:

Birthday Comedy

2008-09-15T15:26:00.000-07:00

It was my birthday on Sunday and, like my birthday two years ago, I spent it on stage. Actually, I did three shows, the last three I have to prepare for today, in which I compete as part of the Boston Comedy Festival.

I’ve been working my butt off for this Festival: performing 7-8 shows a week; recording, watching, and analyzing every show that I do (a task made easier by my video camera and, on occasion, the Griffin iTalk Pro, which has been absolutely indispensable since I got it in June); and fine-tuning those perfect 5 minutes for the show.

It’s crazy to think that I’ve been working tirelessly for three months on this and that the day has finally arrived! Wish me luck! (Or that I at least break a leg.)

It's the Little Things

2008-09-13T23:00:00.000-07:00

Susie Essman said during an interview that it’s her job as a live performer to make every show unique and unrepeatable: that the audience should realize that no show will every take place exactly like the show they just saw, making it their own special show. I love that insight and apply it to all my shows.

And as much as I work hard to make sure my audience gets a unique show, once in a while, an audience member will do something that makes the show unique for me! Tonight, at the People’s Improv Theater (where I was graciously asked to perform by Stone and Stone, the twin duo you may have seen on Last Comic Standing), an audience member gave me a high-five as I walked towards the back of the theater after my set (something he only did for me and no other comics before or after). It’s a really little detail, but it made my night. So, if you’re planning on coming to a comedy show (you can check my schedule if you want to see where I’ll be performing next!), keep in mind that you can make a comic’s night as much as they will make your’s!

New Headshots, New Home Page

2008-09-13T20:22:00.000-07:00

It was finally time to get fresh, new headshots done. In finding a photographer, I lucked out with the unbelievably talented Eden, the photographer who runs Amazing Photos Studios in downtown New York.

In fact, if you check out the home page on my website, you’ll see that I’ve incorporated one of the new headshots (and linked to this blog!).

Quick Question

2008-09-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

Why is it that a comedian who plays the guitar is a singing comedian but a comedian who performs magic is a magician?

Two's Company, Two Thousand's a REAL Crowd

2008-09-07T22:02:00.000-07:00

SEPTEMBER 1st, 2008 - Gould Plaza sneaks up on you as you cross 3rd St. and work your way past Washington Square Park. It's building, building, building, then an airy, open plaza, with buildings extending like hugging arms around it.

I was performing as part of NYU's Inter-Residence Council Hall (IRHC) Welcome Week at Gould Plaza and, as my time to go on approached, I watch a two-block long line filter into the Plaza. The most people I had performed before was about 800 people at Harvard's Sanders Theater; even still, I could feel the adrenaline inject itself as the entire plaza became a sea of bodies and faces.

However, due to a series of mishaps involving Clearasil, which dried out my face, and an allergy to certain kinds of pollen, my eyes started becoming puffy and swollen right before going on stage. In front of 2,000 people.

As you can tell in from the picture, though, I had sunglasses in my messenger bag, so thankfully only I (and now you!) know my little secret!

Just goes to show: in show business, always be prepared for the unexpected!

I Killed On Stage. Literally.

2008-09-04T01:25:00.000-07:00

Comedians tend to be a morbid bunch, so it's not really surprising that there are a lot of death-related stand-up comedy terms. A comedian who's doing well might say he "killed" or "crushed" or "destroyed" or "slayed 'em" or "knocked 'em dead."

But last night, things got a little too literal.

I was performing at the Surf and Turf Grille, which is right across from Nathan's Famous hot dog stand in the heart of Coney Island. What made the venue really interesting, though, was that the stage was located at the front of the restaurant, which was opened to the street. Instead of a wall, the comedian's back was to the exposed sidewalk. The backdrop was Coney Island itself, with no physical division between the inside venue and the outside environment.

This lack of boundary made for some interesting moments. As one comic made a joke about the police, several police cars literally came whizzing by behind him. As another comic finished his set, a homeless person/crack addict started going through the trash across the street.

But evidently, during my set, someone was literally murdered two blocks away from where I was performing while my back was exposed to the entire street without any protection.

During the rest of the set, I was interrupted by ambulances, police cars, and fire trucks, all going over to the site of the murder.

And despite all that, I killed. Figuratively. In fact, this venue not only didn't impose time restrictions on the comics but did exactly the opposite: if you're doing well, the audience forces you to stay on stage. After 15 minutes, when I tried to call the host back up, he and the audience refused: "You're doing really great! Keep going! We love you!" After 20 minutes, the same thing happened.

In the end, I did 30 minutes of what I felt was the most real kind of comedy you could do: it was spontaneous, it was full-force, it was in the moment. I was in a tangible, palpable relationship with the audience, so involved that we forgot about the drama enfolding directly behind us.

My life as a comedian has been strange but wonderfully so and this one crazy night - practically outside, in the middle of a deserted amusement park, with police swelling all around, and the scent of hotdogs and cotton candy in the air, I was able to bring a group of strangers together for a few beautiful moments. And we all laughed together.